Thursday, March 30, 2017

Masih di hati

You know what..

Ternyata kau masih dalam hati aku A..

Betapa rindunya aku pada kau..




The Day You Left

I remember laying in bed,
Thinking of you and feeling such dread

I felt a pain and all the cracks,
I did not realize I would never get you back

My tears were sudden and none withstanding,
My grief, a shriek, my pain overbearing

I only I knew all your own sorrow and pain,
I would have tried to save you I had so much to gain

But I was to late and you let me go
Now I just wish for you to know
I love you and it will always grow

...
Semenjak dua tiga menjak ni..mungkin sebab tarikh lahir aku dengan kau selang 2 hari sahaja..aku 24 haribulan kau 26 haribulan..aku teringat-ingat kau..

Tak sangka menitis juga air mata aku..
Masuk habuk mungkin..

Saja nak letak poem ni..

Aku insya ALLAH tetap akan mendoakan kau walaupun kau sekarang berada dalam dakapan ilahi..

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Darkness consume

Assalamualaikum..



What are you guys doing?

I want to make a clear statement. I know since that incident happened in my life. I've changed.

I'm not the old Hanna anymore. Not the good one. Maybe darkness have consume me little bit.


I'm also feel sorry for myself. I try..

Maybe i fail the test that ALLAH sent me. By giving the human love.

A person that love me the way i am.

I know i found true love after i have love ALLAH with all my heart. I found him (arwah). Then ALLAH took him away from me. That is the biggest test in my life.

[Read here IAM4U]

After that all of me have changed. I'm a human after all. I'm weak. I keep it too long in my heart.

Then ALLAH took my beloved cat Fiddle. That was the saddest moment in my life since arwah gone.

Then I don't know what happen to me. I walk with no soul left in me. All of the love in my heart have gone completely.

That gave a scar in my heart.

I know i have to love ALLAH completely first. I have to get a strong connection with ALLAH like i used to be. Then i will find the one maybe.

😞 That doesn't important anymore.

What important now is i have to make sure i don't repeat my mistake right?

I hope ALLAH forgive me. And i hope i can be more better version than the old Hanna.

Please pray for me ok.

Thank you dear.




Friday, March 10, 2017

Pain & blessed in me 13: Numb dream

Assalamualaikum..

Ok i'm writing this on my Alcatel Flash 2 smartphone. My laptop went to workshop yesterday cause the display wasn't working.

That's is "jatuh ditimpa tangga" Malay proverb.

Alhamdulilllah my smartphone is working as usual although it was drop in the water on Tuesday.

Just wanna write here my deepest heart content. You know i have a cakery business. But you know what, i admit I know nothing about business. None!!!

Zero from A to Z.

Cause i never done any business before. I mean except for selling at mudah.my. i have sell my hedgehog, clothes yeah that's about it. But i doesn't require a receipt or invoice.

I know i have to make invoice/receipt, it's just that i have not registered yet at SSM.
I have think a lot of thing like making my company stamp, bunting or pamphlet for promoting my products. But in order to do that i hve to register first at SSM.

Honestly i don't know how to do pamphlet. Looks like i'm a loser right?

I'm not gonna give up yet.

I know i have to do something to make my business+sales expand. But no one want to help me. My family actually they don't agree with what I'm doing.

It's not a secured job. Have to search for a permanent job.

Yeah i know all that. But did they know why i'm still here. Cause eczema and at my hands was on and off. Alhamdulilllah my hands getting better now.



I just need a rest to get better. They don't know how much i disappointed with myself cause i have eczema at my hand.

How i wish it will go away especially at my hand. I have a dream to become baker, i wanna makes bread. I have to go to classes to do that.

But would they say if i have eczema at my hand. Reject me right?

Malaysian knowledge in eczema person is just like an ant.

I'm sorry i said that...

I'm sorry that my tears went down while writing this.

It doesn't mean that i am not grateful to ALLAH. Alhamdulilllah i have hands.

Nobody understand my situation. Nobody ever does!

They can mock me. Please do.. i can't stand it anymore longer..

I have my own reasons. Why i do it in the first place.

I waited for my hand to be better. Cause i know stress makes it even worse. That's why i stay at home apart from waiting to enter Giatmara to get more knowledge in baking.

They didn't know how i break inside when i got eczema at my finger last year. 😢😢.. Doctor confirm that i have allergic contact dermatitis.

I think it ruins my dreams.

My dreams of becoming a baker.

But i never give up. I know insya ALLAH it will get better. Please pray that eczema at my hand heals.

(P/s: please hear Linkin Park songs title Numb. The lyrics is good)

Sincerely me,
Hanntzah.

Jauh panggang dari api

Bukan semua orang tahu isi hati kita, apa kita fikir jauh di galaxy sana.

Manusia pandai berkata tapi membantu tidak. Pandai memerhatikan orang lain jatuh, membantu? Jauh sekali tidak. Bak kata pepatah "Jauh panggang dari api".
                
Perhati kelemahan orang seakan-akan dia sendiri tiada aib.


Tapi insya ALLAH jangan putus asa jangan patah semangat. ALLAH ada.


ALLAH maha mengetahui.

Terima kasih sebab bagi aku berfikir secara tekanan.

I need pressure really!! I do!!

If not aku takkan bertindak awal. Thanks a lot.

Thanks for reading. I will explain tomorrow what it's all about.

Xoxo


Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Sakit Perut+ handphone baru

hai jumpa lagi kamu.. hihi

hari ini aku dah ada idea untuk menulis..

nak tulis mengenai masalah perut aku.. pada post yang lepas aku dah cerita pasal yang ni kan ..

ok sekarang nak bagitahu masalah perut aku makin parah..

aku dah tak boleh makan makanan yang orang tua-tua kata berangin, meh sini aku senaraikan;

kategori makanan berangin:

Sayur-sayuran / Ubi
Kobis, kacang panjang, kangkung, terung, keledek, keladi, rebung, pucuk paku, kentang, kacang dal, bunga kantan, labu, asparagus, petai.

Buah-buahan
Tembikai, tembikai susu, nangka, cempedak, pisang, sukun, sengkuang. 

Makanan 
Lemang, pulut.

Minuman 
Jus buah-buahan tembikai/tembikai susu/carrot, minuman berkarbonat, berkafein. 



ha tengok tu gila kan.. tapi paling tragis ialah AKU TAK BOLEH MINUM SUSU LEMBU LAGI. TRAGIS KAN??

Kalau minum memang esok cirit 2-4 hari nak baik. Kena minum susu kambing je. Susu kambing tu dah la mahal 500G je RM40 keatas. Dah macam susu baby tau. 

Kesian aku kan, banyak pulak penyakit datang, mungkin faktor usia. ngeh ngeh..

ala korang anggap je la usia aku 30an dah senang sikit.. ahahahaha

aku siap beli supplement shaklee harga RM45 + RM8 postage = RM53. Sebotol ada 90 kapsul.



harap-harap kurang sikit perut berangin aku.

lupa pulak kalau perut berangin mesti la selalu kentut kan.. redha je la.. hahaha

habis kalau tak kentut tak keluar la angin tu, karang tahan-tahan perut korang yang sakit, i mean yang ada masalah seperti aku la..
______________________________________________________________________________

NEXT HANDPHONE

hari ini pagi tadi handphone aku terjatuh dalam air. hambik ko!

dah la dulu HTC Chacha aku pun pernah kena air tapi air botol dalam beg. Ini air kat rumah pulak. Sekarang aku pakai alcatel flash 2 harga dalam RM500 lebih jugak.

memang la aku teringin sangat nak beli handphone canggih tapi kebanyakkan handphone yang aku suka semua dalam range RM2k-RM3k.  Mana nak cekau duit. Kalau aku beli duit aku habis kesitu je la.

Dah tak boleh nak pergi travelling. Aku suka travelling. Cuma kekangan duit je. huhu



DISEBABKAN DAH 2 KALI HANDPHONE AKU KENA AIR, aku determined insya ALLAH next smartphone aku MESTI WATERPROOF!



YA MESTI WATERPROOF!

senang kalau pergi travel ke pulau, kalau nak ambil gambar berenang ke, tak payah risau lagi kan?

Aku kalau beli smartphone memang aku pentingkan specs dia seperti memory, camera, handphone tu besar mana?, RAM berapa?

aku memang akan kaji habis-habisan sebelum beli.. bukan apa harga handphone kan mahal sekali kau beli dah berapa ratus kan..itu kalau beratus la..

bila dah beli pakai seminggu dah tak berapa suka, membazir je..

aku ni jenis heavy user, suka install itu la ini la..macam-macam la.. suka ambil video la..yang penting tak lembap, aku tak suka lembap2 ni..rasa nak baling ke dinding je nanti..hehe

weh korang tengok la video ni, aku rasa smartphone begini memang sesuai dengan aku, bukan apa aku ni ganas sikit bab menggunakan handphone ni selalu sangat jatuh kat lantai boleh la dalam 50 kali kot..hehe..



korang doakan aku la ye semoga busines aku berjaya dan dapat beli handphone yang berkenaan tak kisah la mana-mana jenama janji spesifikasi dia hebat.

ok la thank you for your time...

daaa daaaa

XOXO

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Random

Assalammualaikum semua,

alhamdulillah kita bertemu lagi para pembaca yang setia,

maksudnya aku masih hidup lagi la ye.. hehe..

bukan apa.. aku kan macam chipsmore sekejap update blog sekejap tidak..

apa ea aku nak cerita alahai, lupa la..

korang kalau nak tanya apa-apa atau nak aku cerita kat blog ni pasal apa-apa just comment je kat bawah ni insya ALLAH aku akan balas. Jangan malu jangan segan. Ala bukan kita kenal dalam dunia realiti pun kan.. ッ

Aku pun no one. hehe

Ada banyak cerita tapi itu la dah tak reti nak cerita apa..

haa aku dah ingat sikit tadi aku pergi latihan kursus pengendali makanan di U lama aku dulu.

Alhamdulillah aku dah ada sijil berkenaan. Dapatla aku melebarkan lagi sayap dalam busines kek aku insya ALLAH. ada ade cerita kan pada post yang lepas.

Kalau pasal hidup aku alhamdulillah ok je lagi, takde la macam dulu sedih pasal ala hmm sapa yang baca post dulu-dulu tu faham la ye.. Tadi aku pergi U aku pun alhamdulillah takde rasa sedih teringat kenangan lalu ke..takde pulak.serius ni takde langsung..

itu tandanya aku dah REDHA kan.. cuma sesekali teringat tu biasa la... tapi teringat gitu je..takde la lebih-lebih beno..

Mungkin fiddle kucing aku tu, aku masih sedih lagi, kalo teringat menitis juga air mata, mata taknya dia hidup dengan aku bape tahun weh..the ONLY CAT yang sejiwa dengan aku.

nak baca pasal kucing aku kat sini ye.. 1 , 2





JANGAN LUPA TAU COMMENT KAT BAWAH, TANYA JE APA AKU PATUT CERITA KAT BLOG NI. AKU PUN DAH HILANG IDEA. hehe

kalau takde comment nanti aku akan fikirkan la apa lagi nak cerita..

daa daa semua

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