Friday, March 10, 2017

Pain & blessed in me 13: Numb dream


Ok i'm writing this on my Alcatel Flash 2 smartphone. My laptop went to workshop yesterday cause the display wasn't working.

That's is "jatuh ditimpa tangga" Malay proverb.

Alhamdulilllah my smartphone is working as usual although it was drop in the water on Tuesday.

Just wanna write here my deepest heart content. You know i have a cakery business. But you know what, i admit I know nothing about business. None!!!

Zero from A to Z.

Cause i never done any business before. I mean except for selling at i have sell my hedgehog, clothes yeah that's about it. But i doesn't require a receipt or invoice.

I know i have to make invoice/receipt, it's just that i have not registered yet at SSM.
I have think a lot of thing like making my company stamp, bunting or pamphlet for promoting my products. But in order to do that i hve to register first at SSM.

Honestly i don't know how to do pamphlet. Looks like i'm a loser right?

I'm not gonna give up yet.

I know i have to do something to make my business+sales expand. But no one want to help me. My family actually they don't agree with what I'm doing.

It's not a secured job. Have to search for a permanent job.

Yeah i know all that. But did they know why i'm still here. Cause eczema and at my hands was on and off. Alhamdulilllah my hands getting better now.

I just need a rest to get better. They don't know how much i disappointed with myself cause i have eczema at my hand.

How i wish it will go away especially at my hand. I have a dream to become baker, i wanna makes bread. I have to go to classes to do that.

But would they say if i have eczema at my hand. Reject me right?

Malaysian knowledge in eczema person is just like an ant.

I'm sorry i said that...

I'm sorry that my tears went down while writing this.

It doesn't mean that i am not grateful to ALLAH. Alhamdulilllah i have hands.

Nobody understand my situation. Nobody ever does!

They can mock me. Please do.. i can't stand it anymore longer..

I have my own reasons. Why i do it in the first place.

I waited for my hand to be better. Cause i know stress makes it even worse. That's why i stay at home apart from waiting to enter Giatmara to get more knowledge in baking.

They didn't know how i break inside when i got eczema at my finger last year. 😢😢.. Doctor confirm that i have allergic contact dermatitis.

I think it ruins my dreams.

My dreams of becoming a baker.

But i never give up. I know insya ALLAH it will get better. Please pray that eczema at my hand heals.

(P/s: please hear Linkin Park songs title Numb. The lyrics is good)

Sincerely me,

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